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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

08.06.2025 05:20

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

By taking turns talking.

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

My boyfriend wants to break up over too many petty arguments. To me, they are molehills because I truly love him & don't really think twice about them. If he loved me would he work through it?

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

David Beckham scores a winner with the royal circle - BBC

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.